Why is it disappointment day?

The disappointment is not for me, but for them.  The time they spent planning a party, the gift, or anticipating the way I should react.  That is the disappointment.

My mom likes to tell the storyabout me being in the sixth grade and being allergic to chocolate.  She found it out at a party they were having at school where one of the moms had made vanilla cupcakes because I was allergic to chocolate.

See I wasn't really allergic to chocolate, but it was an easy way for me to say "I don't want your dry ass cupcake" without hurting someone's feelings.  So I just lied and told them I was allergic.

My fake smiles at their efforts hurts them, but how do I tell them I'm not surprised or if I really want something I will just buy it. All our efforts to be kind really only hurt us and others in the end.  Particularly, when you are a horrible liar like me.

So this is reflection day and soon I will disappoint someone.

The Weight of Lies

Disappear from your hometown
Go and find the people that you know
Show them all your good parts
Leave town when the bad ones start to show
Go and wed a woman, a pretty girl that you've never met
Make sure she knows you love her well
But don't make any other promises

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothin happens here
That doesn't happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don't need an aero plane
To chase you anywhere

I once heard the worse thing
A man can do is draw a hungry crowd.
Tell everyone his name in pride an confidence
But leaving out his doubt.
I'm not sure I bought those words
When I was young I knew most everything.
These words have never meant as much to anyone
As they now mean to me.

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town,
Cause nothin happens here that doesn't happen there.
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from,
Cause lies don't need an aero plane
To chase you down.

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town,
Cause nothin happens here that doesn't happen there.
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from,
Cause lies don't need an aero plane
To chase you anywhere.

The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town,
Cause nothin happens here that doesn't happen there.
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from,
Cause lies don't need an aero plane
To chase you down

On being

Being poly means you have more ways to hurt. 
Being kinky means you have more ways to hurt.

One -U2

U2 - One

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life

One

This song has always spoke to me and how love should be shared. I can only love myself and the people I let close enough to hurt me.  If you get close enough to be hurt then you are close enough to hurt me and we will do it and hopefully do it again.

Don't marry her

Beating it to death

I'm sorry that I didn't keep my word exactly the way you think I should have.

We talked about it, I thought we had moved on and decided to move forward.  Then you want to bring it up again.

Choose to live in the past or move into the future.

How was your day?

Priorities or How I went from one problem to 99 problems.

If I am a priority in your life, then you should be asking me what is going on, not waiting for me to let you know. 
I need to know you notice when I'm not around.

Protecting you to try to protect myself will not work and only be seen as me trying to hide something that you will have to "drag out" of me.
I will not worry about your feelings and will work to piss you off early and often, so get use to it.

If you need or want something from me praise and positive reinforcement will get it more from me than complaining that I am not paying attention to you after the fact.  Don't nag me to do something, entice me.
I will water the plant that feeds me before the one that pricks me.

Alluding to and resurrecting my past failures is not an effective teaching strategy.  Show me what you want, by being it and/ or make it easier for me to fill your needs. 
I can't touch that which stays out of arms reach, nor am I am mind reader.

Talk to me about our relationship, not your friends.

I won't always be your number one priority and you won't always be my number one either. 
I will have my goals, set my boundaries, if you can't live with that then find some where else to call home.

I am impatient and have a short attention span.  Deal with it.

So now, I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.