I read an article at askmen.com . Asking men (funny huh) to reflect on their behaviour and decide if it was bullying or being alpha. The one attribute that, to me, differentiated the two was their relationship with the pack.
Alpha's support and care for their packs.
Bully's support and care for their self-image.
SO I was with K taking her to buy groceries. She and the cashier were talking while I was reading the headlines of the tabloids and flirting with the girl bagging groceries. I heard "working out" come up and noticed two slices of pie had come across the scanner.
I think I was stunned and didn't really know what to say. So I just stood there, While she said something about working out a lot. I could tell later she was upset. But it wasn't until after I good nights sleep that the pieces came together.
Responding to things based on past experience is another alpha trait. So when faced with this again I have decided that I will come to the aid of my pack. I am writing it here to make it part of my searchable memory without dwelling on it.
i.e. I could have told the cashier that she was doing well and losing the weight in a time frame and manner that was healthy for her. Further, that people need rewards for meeting short term goals as well as long term goals. This would allow me not hurt feelings and be supportive of my pack. A bully would berate the young cashier, but that would only serve to make him feel better about his self image and not be really protecting or supportive.
You never know when that protection extended, may add another to your pack of friends.
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